I've just passed the 10 week mark and have been feeling pretty rough the last week and a half. I haven't had too many melt downs (save one about midwives, but more on that later), but these days almost no food appeals to me, I've been even more nauseous than before and had a couple of days where keeping food down was hard. I'm so thankful I'm not someone who spends my days running to the bathroom to be sick. I can't imagine doing my job that way everyday.
But feeling crappy is starting to wear on me. I'm trying to keep my eye set on the prize of 12 weeks, but of course there's no guarantee that's when I'll actually start to feel better. When tonight (a Friday) I accidentally said out loud "Oh good -- Jeopardy teen tournament tonight!" all Jahn could say was "I hope I get my wife back soon." And believe me: I feel it too.
Even though I know everything I am feeling is normal (all the typical symptoms you read and hear about), the last couple of weeks have made me wonder if I'm just kind of a wimp. People get pregnant all the time. Shouldn't I just be able to suck it up and go about my regular life? I mean, I'm still teaching everyday and I know that takes a lot out of me, but I sort of feel like a major downer when all I want to do in the evenings is nap, snack, and watch tv or read. I know I need to listen to my body and take care of myself, but that's starting to feel self-indulgent. So here's hoping I'll be back to some form of normal soon. Jahn and I both need it!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
PIMD
So here we are. I have officially recovered (more or less) from the shock of finding out on pizza night a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant. I'm not sure if other people finding out they are pregnant feel as shocked as I did. People ask if this pregnancy was a surprise. Well, no. But would it really matter? Are you ever prepared for the moment you find out that everything's going to change? I doubt it.
I'm now almost 9 weeks pregnant, and though it feels like forever since we found out, that number doesn't seem all that impressive. This feels like a weird limbo time where the only way I really know something is going on is that I feel different. And by "different", I really just mean sick (on and off, all day everyday) and tired (all the time).
But I think this past week has brought about the funniest (though not at the time) symptom I've had so far. It's something I refer to as PIMD: Pregnancy-Induced Melt Down. I thought I had been doing really well in the mood-swing department. I felt like at least in that way, I was still pretty much myself (though I know there have been a few days where I was shorter with my students than I would like, but it has been on the days I feel the sickest, so I'm trying to cut myself a bit of slack.)
But, I should have known I wouldn't be able to escape mood swings for long. And now, they have arrived. Here's was a PIMD looks like: Something (usually fairly trivial) upsets me. My eyes well up. Poor, ever-sensitive Jahn asks if I'm ok. Clearly, I'm not. I start to cry. The crying builds. In between sobs, I try to explain to my slightly bewildered, slightly amused husband what is wrong. This part is tricky, because in a small, rational part of my mind, I know that really, nothing is wrong. But something has set me off. So I explain as best I can. Eventually, I manage to calm down, though if I'm not careful, the PIMD can start up again without warning.
A short list of this week's meltdowns: I feel sick; I'm lonely (Jahn had to work a lot of nights in January and early February); I haven't finished the laundry; my pyjamas are in the unfinished laundry; I can't find something to eat; etc, etc, etc.
Good times, hormones. Good times.
I'm now almost 9 weeks pregnant, and though it feels like forever since we found out, that number doesn't seem all that impressive. This feels like a weird limbo time where the only way I really know something is going on is that I feel different. And by "different", I really just mean sick (on and off, all day everyday) and tired (all the time).
But I think this past week has brought about the funniest (though not at the time) symptom I've had so far. It's something I refer to as PIMD: Pregnancy-Induced Melt Down. I thought I had been doing really well in the mood-swing department. I felt like at least in that way, I was still pretty much myself (though I know there have been a few days where I was shorter with my students than I would like, but it has been on the days I feel the sickest, so I'm trying to cut myself a bit of slack.)
But, I should have known I wouldn't be able to escape mood swings for long. And now, they have arrived. Here's was a PIMD looks like: Something (usually fairly trivial) upsets me. My eyes well up. Poor, ever-sensitive Jahn asks if I'm ok. Clearly, I'm not. I start to cry. The crying builds. In between sobs, I try to explain to my slightly bewildered, slightly amused husband what is wrong. This part is tricky, because in a small, rational part of my mind, I know that really, nothing is wrong. But something has set me off. So I explain as best I can. Eventually, I manage to calm down, though if I'm not careful, the PIMD can start up again without warning.
A short list of this week's meltdowns: I feel sick; I'm lonely (Jahn had to work a lot of nights in January and early February); I haven't finished the laundry; my pyjamas are in the unfinished laundry; I can't find something to eat; etc, etc, etc.
Good times, hormones. Good times.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Pizza Night
When Jahn was going to school in Montreal and I was going to school in Ottawa, I would take the bus to Montreal every Friday and come back to Ottawa early Monday morning for class. Jahn used to pick me up at the bus station (which was connected to a busy metro station). Before taking the metro to Jahn's place on Friday, we would always stop and get a slice of pizza. Really, it was impossible not to. I usually took the bus around dinner time, so I was starving when I arrived. One whiff of that metro pizza and I was a goner.
And so began the tradition of Friday night pizza. And it continues, every Friday, almost without exception. I get excited for it every week. All my students know about pizza night, and often on Fridays ask what we'll be ordering and whether they can join us.
So it seems fitting (or maybe ironic?) that the big changes in store for 2011 would come about on the most routine of nights: Friday.
Thing 1:
I knew that change was coming for Jahn. For a while, he had been looking for a new challenge and wanted to add to his qualifications. He had applied for an on-line certificate program which would start at the beginning of January. But then, as the start date approach, it seemed to be clear that because Jahn doesn't have a B.A., he wasn't going to be able to take the course. I guess there was a reason for that, though, since very shortly thereafter Jahn learned that ATP's production manager, Lance, would be leaving his position and Jahn would have the chance to apply for the job. It seemed like a scary but exciting challenge and, after some hesitation, Jahn decided he wanted to take it on. On Friday, January 21, it became official that Jahn would succeed Lance as production manager of ATP. And so we had pizza to celebrate. Well, to celebrate and because it was a Friday, after all.
Thing 2:
But in our house, things don't seem to happen one at a time. I had been feeling a bit off for the past week. After pizza, Jahn said "Ok. Just take the test. I mean, it would be a pretty good story to find out both things the same day." We both sat there laughing about that idea, feeling that it was too crazy, even for our life. But I agreed. Three minutes later, when I came back into the living room, wide-eyed, I asked Jahn "Does this look like two lines to you?" Jahn nodded. I had thought about this moment. Would I cry? Jump for joy? But all I could say was "I need to sit down. . ."
And so began the tradition of Friday night pizza. And it continues, every Friday, almost without exception. I get excited for it every week. All my students know about pizza night, and often on Fridays ask what we'll be ordering and whether they can join us.
So it seems fitting (or maybe ironic?) that the big changes in store for 2011 would come about on the most routine of nights: Friday.
Thing 1:
I knew that change was coming for Jahn. For a while, he had been looking for a new challenge and wanted to add to his qualifications. He had applied for an on-line certificate program which would start at the beginning of January. But then, as the start date approach, it seemed to be clear that because Jahn doesn't have a B.A., he wasn't going to be able to take the course. I guess there was a reason for that, though, since very shortly thereafter Jahn learned that ATP's production manager, Lance, would be leaving his position and Jahn would have the chance to apply for the job. It seemed like a scary but exciting challenge and, after some hesitation, Jahn decided he wanted to take it on. On Friday, January 21, it became official that Jahn would succeed Lance as production manager of ATP. And so we had pizza to celebrate. Well, to celebrate and because it was a Friday, after all.
Thing 2:
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