Midwife Mess

Babies and birth have always interested me.  The first time I watched a real birth on tv, I don't think I was all that much older than the kids I teach now.  One thing about birth that has always interested me is midwives.  Everything about midwives appeals to me: how they really get to know you, the kind of care they provide, their involvement after the baby is born.  So when we started thinking about the possibility of having a baby in Calgary, I looked to see what the chance was of having a midwife.  

I was very excited to find that, not only do midwives have full access to any hospital in Calgary, but as of April 2009, midwifery care is 100% covered by Alberta Health.   I started looking into the (very) small number of midwifery practices that exist in Calgary.  Their websites all seemed to say the same thing: our kind of service is very popular, so get in touch with us early in your pregnancy if you want a space.  When I saw how few midwives there were, I had a brief moment of wondering whether I should get in touch and say "I'm planning to get pregnant around this time.  Can you put me on your list now before I'm actually pregnant?"  But then I thought about that a second time and it felt like something a crazy person would do.  Plus, who knew if I would actually get pregnant when I wanted?  So I never followed through.

Fast forward to January.  We find out I'm pregnant on a Friday night.  The first thing I did Saturday morning was fill out the online intake forms for all the practices I could find.  There was one practice in particular I was really drawn to, but that was really based only on the website, so I emailed them all, just to be safe.  I was four (almost five) weeks pregnant.

I waited to hear back.  After a week and a bit, I started to hear back.  And guess what?  Every practice told me they were full.  Every.  Single.  One.  When I heard from the final one, I had a major PIMD.  I was so disappointed because I felt like I had all this knowledge about what I wanted and despite that, there was nothing I could do to get that kind of care.  The whole thing also made me start to wonder.  What did other people do to get midwives?  Did they actually do what I thought was crazy and contact a midwife before they were even pregnant?  Were they friends with a midwife?  Had a midwife already delivered another baby of theirs?   Ugh.  I just don't know.

I'm sure everything will work out in the end.  I know that, really, the important thing is a healthy baby, regardless of who hands it to me.  But I'm still sad.  I know now, instead of what I pictured, I will see one (or various different) OB and then will have my baby delivered by the practice's on call OB (someone I may or may not have met before).  To me, that is definitely a less-than-ideal scenario.  But I hope once this baby is here, how he or she got here will become not such a big deal.