PIMD

So here we are.  I have officially recovered (more or less) from the shock of finding out on pizza night a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant.  I'm not sure if other people finding out they are pregnant feel as shocked as I did.  People ask if this pregnancy was a surprise.  Well, no.  But would it really matter?  Are you ever prepared for the moment you find out that everything's going to change?  I doubt it.  


I'm now almost 9 weeks pregnant, and though it feels like forever since we found out, that number doesn't seem all that impressive.  This feels like a weird limbo time where the only way I really know something is going on is that I feel different.  And by "different", I really just mean sick (on and off, all day everyday) and tired (all the time).  


But I think this past week has brought about the funniest (though not at the time) symptom I've had so far.  It's something I refer to as PIMD: Pregnancy-Induced Melt Down.  I thought I had been doing really well in the mood-swing department.  I felt like at least in that way, I was still pretty much myself (though I know there have been a few days where I was shorter with my students than I would like, but it has been on the days I feel the sickest, so I'm trying to cut myself a bit of slack.)


But, I should have known I wouldn't be able to escape mood swings for long.  And now, they have arrived.  Here's was a PIMD looks like:  Something (usually fairly trivial) upsets me.  My eyes well up.  Poor, ever-sensitive Jahn asks if I'm ok.  Clearly, I'm not.  I start to cry.  The crying builds.  In between sobs, I try to explain to my slightly bewildered, slightly amused husband what is wrong.  This part is tricky, because in a small, rational part of my mind, I know that really, nothing is wrong.  But something has set me off.  So I explain as best I can.  Eventually, I manage to calm down, though if I'm not careful, the PIMD can start up again without warning.  


A short list of this week's meltdowns: I feel sick; I'm lonely (Jahn had to work a lot of nights in January and early February); I haven't finished the laundry; my pyjamas are in the unfinished laundry; I can't find something to eat;  etc, etc, etc.


Good times, hormones.  Good times.